Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I12 Writes

I was over at Arethusa's this morning, reading her post on teen literature, and one of the commenters opined that kids cannot write! Imagine that!

Well, I am here to prove you wrong, MCG. From the archives of my firstborn, proud holder of a D- in Language Arts, I present these timeless masterpieces. I mean, they've got to be timeless, because they were both written two years ago and I still have them on my hard drive.

a horror story

In 4th grade, I12 was given a writing assignment at school, to write a story where the main character loses a library book and then solves this problem. Here is the story with original syntax and punctuation.

One time there was someone named Ripper. He was 39, had black eyes, and was very forgotful. He went to the library to get a book on psycoligy and forgot to take it out of his car. The next day, he had to drive toxic water to the power station five miles away. On his way, a falling tree knocked his car into the ocean. Tons of toxic water came out and got into his mouth while he was unconsis uncontionus. He woke up five days later, in a hospital. He was fired and payed $30,000 for the hospital bill, lost his car and everything in it, and had to pay $1,000 for toxic water. In the mean time, his car washed up onto the shore and someone found it and Ripper happend to be close by and grabbed the book and beat him up. He took the book back to the library and was informed that he had to pay $50,000 for breaking someone’s jaw. He got exicuted for getting in so much trouble. The end.

Saddam Husane
a fine piece of poetry

May, 2003

Saddam Husane,
Yur gunna be in a lot of pain!
Cuz yur gunna go down the drain!
And yur insane!
Itz gunna rain blood Saddam Husane!
Yur blood cuz Im gunna stab ya with yur grandma's cane!
Right in yur ballz Saddam Husane!
Im gunna rip yur head off Husane!
Yur gunna be in a lot of pain!
Im gunna tie you up with a chain Saddam Husane!
And you die in pain!
That's the end of you Husane!

Coming up next: "Spike the Dog", a story written by K9 when he was in kindergarten... if I can find it in my papers tonight...

The Goldie has spoken at 1:01 PM

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