Proper Tipping Etiquette
K9’s best friend (also a third-grader) came over yesterday. I had a coupon from Papa John’s, so we decided to order a pizza. I called in with the order, and as I went to get the cash, I thought I’d ask the friend something.
I: Hey, do you know how much I’m supposed to give the pizza guy?
I wasn’t quite prepared for the lecture that followed.
Friend: If it’s a hot chick, you give her three. If it is an older guy, give him two. If it’s an ugly guy, give him one-fifty. If it’s a hot guy…
That’s where I cut him off.
I: Wait, wait, wait. Why does the hot chick get more? And besides, how can I give a hot chick three dollars? She’ll think I’m coming on to her. And besides, I’ve never seen a hot chick delivering pizza.
Friend (with a sigh): Yeah, they are hard to find. Wait, you are pretty.
I (blushing) : Why, thank you very much! But I don’t deliver pizza. Anyway, I cannot give a hot chick more. She’ll freak out. Okay, that does it – whoever comes, gets two! (take the cash out and set it on the counter).
One hour later, the pizza came, delivered by a very hot guy. And to think that I never even found out what the going rate was on those! Does anybody know? And does anybody really tip the pizza delivery persons based on their looks? And does anybody else besides me think that it is really weird?
And, last, but not least, - why do K9 and his friends so often remind me of the South Park kids?
I: Hey, do you know how much I’m supposed to give the pizza guy?
I wasn’t quite prepared for the lecture that followed.
Friend: If it’s a hot chick, you give her three. If it is an older guy, give him two. If it’s an ugly guy, give him one-fifty. If it’s a hot guy…
That’s where I cut him off.
I: Wait, wait, wait. Why does the hot chick get more? And besides, how can I give a hot chick three dollars? She’ll think I’m coming on to her. And besides, I’ve never seen a hot chick delivering pizza.
Friend (with a sigh): Yeah, they are hard to find. Wait, you are pretty.
I (blushing) : Why, thank you very much! But I don’t deliver pizza. Anyway, I cannot give a hot chick more. She’ll freak out. Okay, that does it – whoever comes, gets two! (take the cash out and set it on the counter).
One hour later, the pizza came, delivered by a very hot guy. And to think that I never even found out what the going rate was on those! Does anybody know? And does anybody really tip the pizza delivery persons based on their looks? And does anybody else besides me think that it is really weird?
And, last, but not least, - why do K9 and his friends so often remind me of the South Park kids?
