My bloggy friends, BTW, are clearing out like it's the Titanic, and they don't want to be around when Leo DeCaprio is the only one left with a blog. A few of them turned up on Facebook, so yay.
I wanted to say something witty and profound, but it's all been done. Even the big-name bloggers that I've been following, have started repeating themselves. You know it's gotten really bad when V regurgitates her posts of old.
Internet Monk is about the only one that still updates with original material, and has cool discussions going on in his comments. I should read him more. He's a good source, whether I agree with him or not. Speaking of spiritual journeys, this man seems to be what I've been looking for lately, so I'm going to read more of his work and see if it answers any of the questions I've had for the last couple of years.
New South Park starts tomorrow. Don't forget to leave your TV on after it ends, to see Important Things With Demetri Martin. This guy seriously rocks. All right, what else?
We went on vacation:
We went to another dogpark, and this time our visit was hump-free:
I haz motivational posters!
CB and I went to see Jesus Christ Superstar live. You need to write down this name, boys and girls. James Delisco. This guy is amazing! Ted N_e_e_l_e_y, on the other hand, was a bit of a letdown. Maybe he needs to retire?
The funny spelling of the name Ted N_e_e_l_e_y, by the way, is due to the fact that famous dudes have a habit of googling their name, finding this blog, and emailing me about it. This has already happened a few times, so I'm not taking anymore chances with Mr. N_e_e_l_e_y.
We got a letter from LP's school, thanking us for his good grades. The letter was customized with LP's name but not gender, like this: "Your son/daughter Bill has received straight As two quarters in a row". Needless to say "son/daughter" is now LP's nickname. Seriously though, I'm so proud of him! He is a good son/daughter!!
Last weekend, CB and I took our dog to a local off-leash park. Because it was freezing cold, only two other dogs were there. One, a black lab, took a liking to our Sparky. First he licked him all over.
Then the usual routine started.
I wasn't surprised. Sparky gets humped a lot by other dogs. He's a quiet, shy, submissive guy. Normally he'd slide out from under the dog and walk away smiling. He tried that, but the lab kept following him and starting over. This bothered me because the lab was twice Sparky's weight. It also bothered the lab's owner, possibly because he was there with his six-year-old daughter.
We tried everything. We took turns pulling the lab off Sparky. The owner talked to the lab. I talked to the lab. Nothing worked. The lab was hellbent on world domination, starting with my dog. Today, Sparky, tomorrow, the universe!
I was mid-sentence, explaining to the lab's owner that I really, honestly did not mind, when it happened.
Our harmless little Spoopy turned to the lab, bared his fangs, and barked at him in a most vicious way. The lab backed up, but Sparky kept barking.
He looked scary. Normally he looks like a stuffed toy.
Not like this.
I moved to stop Sparky, but the lab owner dude told me it was okay, and "actually a good thing". Maybe their whole family was getting tired of Sir Hump-A-Lot, and thought it was time somebody taught him a lesson. Don't know what the deal is, because the guy, the kid and the lab left soon after that.
Apparently Sparky also chased the lab around the park. I didn't see it happen, as I was busy watching my dog, ready to break up the fight if needed. (How I intended to break up a dog fight, I don't really know.) CB told me about it later. Next thing I saw, both dogs were standing peacefully side by side. Then Sparky saw a Maltese and ran off to play with her.
CB beamed proudly.
"You stood for yourself, Sparky! To a large dog! Our Sparky became a man today," he said.
For fifteen minutes or so, I beamed quite happily myself. Then the usual reaction set in.
Can you guess?
I feel guilty because my dog yelled at another one. Never mind that the other dog started it, or that he was twice as big. I spent most of this week feeling terrible because of the supposedly offended lab owner, then kicking myself in the head for it, then feeling terrible again.
I am very strange. I'd seriously let a random canine hump my dog to avoid conflict.
This explains a lot of my past. For example, this.
I chose a sad song today, because I'm feeling kind of sad and stressed out. Good news, though? Vacation in ten days!
Also, CB's middle school won a "cool school" prize or something from FOX, so tonight, each student gets a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and each student's family gets a 15% discount. If this blog isn't updated anymore, that means I died from Chick-Fil-A poisoning. I've never tried that stuff. I checked their nutrition info and grilled chicken sandwich looks decent, so I'll give it a shot.
So, I'm getting this magazine called "Your Teen: for Parents". Not sure how it ends up in my mailbox, but since it's free, I'll take it. The last issue had this helpful article:
"Have you ever found yourself staring at your teenagers in complete wonder - hearing words come from their mouth but having no idea what they are saying? We break down the jargon to help you better understand your teenagers.
Makin' game: Flirting with a girl..."
Makin' what? I called CB over and handed him the mag.
"See this list, CB?" I said. "Can you look it over and tell me which words on this list are really teenage slang and which are not."
CB grabbed a pen and went to work.
Five minutes later, 18 words out of 20 were crossed out.
"What does crossed out mean, CB?"
"These are either old or I've never heard of them," CB told me.
Here are the only two CB approved:
Emo apparently emos are alive and well, happily cutting themselves, so the term is still widely used.
I'd tap that "Though usually we just say 'I'd fuck her'", my helpful kid explained.
Here are the eighteen that did not make CB's list. Being the anal mother that I am, I looked each one up on Urban Dictionary.
Makin' game CB never heard of it. Neither did UD.
That's clutch Again, not in UD. Supposed to mean "that's cool". NOT.
What's crackin'? supposed to be the new "how're they hangin'?" UD has one entry on this, but in CB's defense, it's four years old.
Mackin' on CB has never heard of it or used it, yet it is listed in UD as "Attempt at securing further sexual relations with a female". Wow, I've been macked on so many times and didn't know it. Or mackered on. Whatever.
I'm throwin' down "I'm having a party" is how Your Teen magazine defines it. According to UD, though, it means "The act of expelling waste similar in color and consistency to vomit, though expelled through the rectum rather than the mouth. It may be accompanied by sounds similar to those made while vomiting as well. See ass vomit." Wow, that's some party.
Looking fly/fresh 2009 teen slang? You've got to be kidding me, Will Smith!
Peace out CB laffed at it, but look at this: Term used to encourage military members to become conscienous objectors "peace" and get "out" of the military. Started during the Viet Nam War by "Peaceniks" and hippies. Turned into a term for saying goodbye, used primarily within ethnic groups. Has been receiving renew popularity because of the U.S.s involvement in yet another unpopular war. Hey... sounds cool! (Fresh?)
Are you going to roll up? No, Your Teen, this does not mean "are you going somewhere?" Look it up, sheesh. Anyhoo, if you are going to roll up, pass it around, dude.
The rest of the list is pretty much the same - tired, 90s slang:
Player Skank Blazed Kicks Keep it on the down low Hooked up Friends with benefits I'm down She's a dime piece Sketchy
This is all the teen slang CB and I have for you tonight. Peace out.
In a moment of vanity, I outed this blog to my coworkers.
But that's okay, because my RL friends already had the URL anyway.
I honestly don't know what to write here anymore. Whenever I can think of something clean, I'll be sure to post it. I have a few ideas right now. I will definitely continue the Musical Hump Days. I'll probably update Graphomania eventually. I'm still taking the class, and stuff is happening.
I'm going to leave the site up no matter who knows about it, because IMO the Aspie Digest is too valuable to take down. I've used it a few times as a reference myself. I don't add to it anymore, because LP is no longer the flaming Aspie he used to be. He's making friends and getting good grades. He also cooks, does home repairs, mows the lawn in summer and shovels the driveway in winter. No, you can't have him.
Blogs as a whole are already over with, so who cares?
It's snowing here. Again. Schools are closed; Mr. Goldie's work has a two hour delay. I'm the only one that has to leave now. LP shoveled our driveway an hour ago, but you cannot tell that already. Wish me luck.
Here with a true observation on life, one of my all-time favorites. Tell me, is it wrong to have a crush on a guy that's been dead for 40 years?
Bonus song about snow. Now, this is the white stuff that should be illegal.
Because I know someone will click over from PAN, after my comments there tonight, let me tell you a story.
One time at day camp, a kid told my son ChinchillaBoy (then 11-year-old): "All Russians are stupid".
CB inquired, "Do you want to insult my heritage after camp?" hinting at the fact that, in camp, no fighting was allowed.
CB packs a mean punch, so the kid backed off.
This was two years ago. CB is much stronger now. Don't make me call him over. Okay?
Also, do unto others as you would them do unto you. This means, don't say things to other people that would piss you off if applied to your precious self.
It's 20 degrees outside, and has been for the last month. Except for that one week when temperatures were in the single digits.
Sidewalks are covered with snow, and the road with salt. Yesterday CB tried taking the dog for a walk down the street and back. They had to walk in the middle of the road. The dog came back all covered in salt and sleet, from his long Sheltie hair sweeping the ground.
I feel trapped in my own house. At least it's a nice house, with cool and awesome people living in it. Still, I'm bored. Where's spring when you need it?
