Thursday, February 05, 2009

Unwelcome Advances, Hostile Environment

Last weekend, CB and I took our dog to a local off-leash park. Because it was freezing cold, only two other dogs were there. One, a black lab, took a liking to our Sparky. First he licked him all over.

Then the usual routine started.

I wasn't surprised. Sparky gets humped a lot by other dogs. He's a quiet, shy, submissive guy. Normally he'd slide out from under the dog and walk away smiling. He tried that, but the lab kept following him and starting over. This bothered me because the lab was twice Sparky's weight. It also bothered the lab's owner, possibly because he was there with his six-year-old daughter.

We tried everything. We took turns pulling the lab off Sparky. The owner talked to the lab. I talked to the lab. Nothing worked. The lab was hellbent on world domination, starting with my dog. Today, Sparky, tomorrow, the universe!

I was mid-sentence, explaining to the lab's owner that I really, honestly did not mind, when it happened.

Our harmless little Spoopy turned to the lab, bared his fangs, and barked at him in a most vicious way. The lab backed up, but Sparky kept barking.

He looked scary. Normally he looks like a stuffed toy.

Not like this.

I moved to stop Sparky, but the lab owner dude told me it was okay, and "actually a good thing". Maybe their whole family was getting tired of Sir Hump-A-Lot, and thought it was time somebody taught him a lesson. Don't know what the deal is, because the guy, the kid and the lab left soon after that.

Apparently Sparky also chased the lab around the park. I didn't see it happen, as I was busy watching my dog, ready to break up the fight if needed. (How I intended to break up a dog fight, I don't really know.) CB told me about it later. Next thing I saw, both dogs were standing peacefully side by side. Then Sparky saw a Maltese and ran off to play with her.

CB beamed proudly.

"You stood for yourself, Sparky! To a large dog! Our Sparky became a man today," he said.

For fifteen minutes or so, I beamed quite happily myself. Then the usual reaction set in.

Can you guess?

I feel guilty because my dog yelled at another one. Never mind that the other dog started it, or that he was twice as big. I spent most of this week feeling terrible because of the supposedly offended lab owner, then kicking myself in the head for it, then feeling terrible again.

I am very strange. I'd seriously let a random canine hump my dog to avoid conflict.

This explains a lot of my past. For example, this.

The Goldie has spoken at 12:19 PM

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Musical Hump Day

I chose a sad song today, because I'm feeling kind of sad and stressed out. Good news, though? Vacation in ten days!

Also, CB's middle school won a "cool school" prize or something from FOX, so tonight, each student gets a Chick-Fil-A sandwich and each student's family gets a 15% discount. If this blog isn't updated anymore, that means I died from Chick-Fil-A poisoning. I've never tried that stuff. I checked their nutrition info and grilled chicken sandwich looks decent, so I'll give it a shot.

But I digress.

The Goldie has spoken at 7:00 AM

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Thought Of The Day

This is my history, and it's repeating itself one minute at a time.

Why? Because I don't learn.

Cute dawggy post coming up in the next few days, stay tuned.

The Goldie has spoken at 1:04 PM

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