Ten things I do not like about K9’s elementary school:
1. None of the other parents like it, which appeals to my group mentality.
2. The kids can all kill each other on the playground, and no one will notice.
3. They harrassed the parents for a year, collecting money for a new playground. We still don’t know what was so bad about the old one.
4. Every year, K9 becomes best friends with at least one boy in class. And at the end of every year, the two get sent to different classes for the next school year. Never fails.
5. K9 once got in trouble for using the word “levitating”.
6. The school threatened to call Social Services on me on two occasions.
7. The principal told me, in front of six teachers, that I12 would “grow up and kill someone, or himself”.
8. I12: 2001/02. Third grade. Four book reports. K9: 2004/05. Third grade. Zero book reports. Go figure. (Yes, I asked multiple times, and the response has always been, “they’ll start doing it next week, I promise”).
9. One year on the last day before Christmas break, the principal gave me my son’s detention notice as a Christmas present. (To be fair, I didn’t give her any presents at all.)
10. I once got a call at work from a concerned teacher, saying: “People tell me that your son and his two friends are starting a club!!”
Ten things I like about K9’s elementary school:
1. It has two really-really-really good teachers! (three if you count the gifted coordinator).
2. It is one year shorter than the rest of the elementary schools in our district, so K9 gets to go to middle school one year early (one year and four weeks to go!!!)
3. It has a new playground.
4. K9’s best friends go there.
5. It gives me material for my blog posts.
6. They do a mean pizza bingo.
7. On the last day of school, a fire truck comes and a fireman hoses the kids down! (This is actually very cool!)
8. Next year when K9 graduates, I’m throwing the biggest party I’ve ever done, for all of my friends. Glad to have a valid reason for the party!
9. One year and four weeks to go!
10. Did I already say there’s only one year and four weeks to go?