Friday, October 10, 2008

Office-y Rants

* I have come to believe there is a Toilet Fairy. She comes into every ladies' room two minutes after it was cleaned, walks into every stall, pees all over the toilet seats, and leaves. She only works with the girls. Guys probably have their own toilet fairies, but I don't want to even think about what those do.

* Any story that starts with "I had a dream last night..." can only continue in two ways: "It was a wet dream, and you were in it" => disturbing; or: Anything else => boring. Either way, if I hear it from you, I'm going to zone out right after the word "dream". I apologize in advance.

* A weekend is a lot like a person's life, compressed into two days. One minute, it's Friday evening and you have all these grand plans, with amazing events scheduled for your upcoming weekend. Next you know, it is Sunday evening, you haven't done any of your amazing things, and have instead spent your weekend putzing around the house and watching TV, and now it's over.

Maybe we should have a mid-weekend crisis on Saturday nights. That's when you realize your weekend is half over, and you have done nothing. You throw on something shiny and frantically run out in a last-minute attempt to have some poorly-planned fun. It doesn't work out and you return home to spend the rest of your weekend in peaceful resignation.

With that said, happy Friday and have a great weekend!

The Goldie has spoken at 12:16 PM


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