Grudges
We went out with friends last night. We were standing outside when a girl from our old job came up to say hi and catch up on things. We hadn't seen each other for years. We used to be sort of friends, but then things cooled off. I cannot speak for her, but I lost my fascination with the girl after she stabbed me in the back in the worst possible way. It was an amazing low that still makes my head spin when I think of it. Basically, I thought we were friends, until she spread an incredibly nasty rumor behind my back. For the record, no, I do not further my career by trying to sleep with my managers. I figure my brains, people skills, teamwork, and work ethics should be enough for a decent career. Anything more than simply decent, I don't want. I have friends, I have hobbies, I have a family and I have no desire to sell my soul in exchange for a spectacular job. I don't need a spectacular job. I need something that pays my bills. Search this blog for "George" to find my version of what really happened. Apparently some of the bystanders watching from the sidelines took it the wrong way. Not my problem.
Anyway, this person hurt me deeply.
It was, however, ten years ago.
You'd think I should be able to put it all behind me and move on. Right?
Well after talking to the girl for five minutes yesterday, I was shaking, I had chills down my spine, and I realized I couldn't be around her for another second. Her proximity was making me physically sick. I said I had to make a phone call, and walked off. Hey, I wasn't lying, I really did have a missed call from CB that I urgently had to return. Very urgently.
This raises questions. Technically, we are supposed to be able to forgive anything. Because that's the way we'd like to be treated ourselves, blah blah blah. What about you? Can you do that? If someone had treated you badly, could you forget that a year later? Five years later? Ten? Ever? How long does it take you? Can you forget anything at all the person did to you, or is there a line in the sand? Where do you draw the line?
Also, what is your definition of forgiving? Do you completely erase the event from your memory? Or do you treat the person like nothing happened, but keep in mind that this is what he or she is capable of doing, so you better be on the lookout?
Would you forget and forgive even if the person has not changed their attitude towards you, or would it require a change in the person? Would you require an apology? Would the change/apology help, or would you hold it against the person nonetheless? Keep in mind, I am not talking minor offenses here. Those are easy. I am talking about something that is utterly despicable in your book.
I wish you guys would say something in the comments or email. I find myself unable to forget and forgive and I could use some mentoring. This also happens to be the topic of my tomorrow's Sunday school lesson and I don't know what I'm going to tell the kids. "Kids, do as I say, don't do as I do"? So. Please feel free to share. I would really appreciate it this time.
Anyway, this person hurt me deeply.
It was, however, ten years ago.
You'd think I should be able to put it all behind me and move on. Right?
Well after talking to the girl for five minutes yesterday, I was shaking, I had chills down my spine, and I realized I couldn't be around her for another second. Her proximity was making me physically sick. I said I had to make a phone call, and walked off. Hey, I wasn't lying, I really did have a missed call from CB that I urgently had to return. Very urgently.
This raises questions. Technically, we are supposed to be able to forgive anything. Because that's the way we'd like to be treated ourselves, blah blah blah. What about you? Can you do that? If someone had treated you badly, could you forget that a year later? Five years later? Ten? Ever? How long does it take you? Can you forget anything at all the person did to you, or is there a line in the sand? Where do you draw the line?
Also, what is your definition of forgiving? Do you completely erase the event from your memory? Or do you treat the person like nothing happened, but keep in mind that this is what he or she is capable of doing, so you better be on the lookout?
Would you forget and forgive even if the person has not changed their attitude towards you, or would it require a change in the person? Would you require an apology? Would the change/apology help, or would you hold it against the person nonetheless? Keep in mind, I am not talking minor offenses here. Those are easy. I am talking about something that is utterly despicable in your book.
I wish you guys would say something in the comments or email. I find myself unable to forget and forgive and I could use some mentoring. This also happens to be the topic of my tomorrow's Sunday school lesson and I don't know what I'm going to tell the kids. "Kids, do as I say, don't do as I do"? So. Please feel free to share. I would really appreciate it this time.
