Anyway, this person hurt me deeply.
It was, however, ten years ago.
You'd think I should be able to put it all behind me and move on. Right?
Well after talking to the girl for five minutes yesterday, I was shaking, I had chills down my spine, and I realized I couldn't be around her for another second. Her proximity was making me physically sick. I said I had to make a phone call, and walked off. Hey, I wasn't lying, I really did have a missed call from CB that I urgently had to return. Very urgently.
This raises questions. Technically, we are supposed to be able to forgive anything. Because that's the way we'd like to be treated ourselves, blah blah blah. What about you? Can you do that? If someone had treated you badly, could you forget that a year later? Five years later? Ten? Ever? How long does it take you? Can you forget anything at all the person did to you, or is there a line in the sand? Where do you draw the line?
Also, what is your definition of forgiving? Do you completely erase the event from your memory? Or do you treat the person like nothing happened, but keep in mind that this is what he or she is capable of doing, so you better be on the lookout?
Would you forget and forgive even if the person has not changed their attitude towards you, or would it require a change in the person? Would you require an apology? Would the change/apology help, or would you hold it against the person nonetheless? Keep in mind, I am not talking minor offenses here. Those are easy. I am talking about something that is utterly despicable in your book.
I wish you guys would say something in the comments or email. I find myself unable to forget and forgive and I could use some mentoring. This also happens to be the topic of my tomorrow's Sunday school lesson and I don't know what I'm going to tell the kids. "Kids, do as I say, don't do as I do"? So. Please feel free to share. I would really appreciate it this time.