Friday, November 18, 2005

I Have An Honor Roll Student… And So Does Everyone Else

Today, K10 made me attend the awards ceremony at his school. This is the first time I’ve been to the awards at this particular school – somehow, I managed to miss all of I12’s.

Interesting experience, I’ve got to tell you.

K10 asked me when we were getting in the car,

“Mom, what are you gonna give me for getting a distinguished honor roll?”

On pure intuition, I replied:

“Same thing I used to get your brother when he was in fourth grade – NOTHING!”

Boy, did I make the right decision. In each class, there were only three or four kids who did not get honor rolls. The principal said, next time, they would shoot for 100% honor-rollage.

Does anybody else except me find this strange? I mean, aren’t these things supposed to be hard to earn?

Oh, well.

It took the teachers about twenty minutes to pass out the honor rolls, and parents assumed they could leave. Wrong. There was a second award ceremony right after the first. Turns out, the school is sponsored by a (big company, name withheld). So what they did was, they took an actual performance review sheet used by (big company), graded the kids by the same categories, and picked a winner in each. “Just like a real performance review! Isn’t that great?”

Um, no, it isn’t. Unless you really enjoy all things corporate, which I don’t. It is so much work trying not to puke while filling out the actual thing, I didn’t know if I could sit through another performance review in an elementary school. Eventually, I managed it, but, I have to admit, not with a straight face. I kept on cracking up. Thank God I sat in the last row. There was a guy sitting in front of me. He was kind of puny for a guy, but I figured he was about my height, and I could hide behind him if I tried very hard. It wasn’t easy. For some reason, the guy kept moving his chair and I had to move mine each time he relocated, so I’d be directly behind him. But, I hope I managed. If I didn’t, oh well, I have a bad rap in this school anyway. Nothing I say or do can make it worse than it already is.

By the way, do you know that at (big company) you can get fired from your job for not bringing a pen to a meeting? It’s the truth, the principal told us so! Wow, I had no idea, and I actually have to interact with (big company) employees at work. Poor guys.

After the ceremony, the parents were allowed to go say hi to their kids. I went to say hi to K10 because I figured he’d hate me if I didn’t. But he didn’t even see me. He was busy talking to three most popular girls in his class at once. And to imagine that this kid did not get the award in “Interpersonal Skills”!

What is this world coming to.

The Goldie has spoken at 10:39 AM

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