Thursday, November 17, 2005

Flurries, My Donkey!

According to the weather forecast, we were supposed to get “flurries” today.

As of right now, there are four inches of dang flurries sitting on the ground, and more keeps coming down at a crazy speed. I really anticipate the 20-mile drive home tonight. Oh well, at least I can drive home, because I will be going south. The northbound part of the freeway has been closed. That’s right, closed due to an inordinate amount of snow!

But, guess what. This is only where I work. Back where I live, we have this lame white dusting that doesn’t even cover the ground. Also, this morning, I went to a dental appointment ten miles south of my home and those SOBs have got nothing!

How fair is that?

They tell me my office is in the “snow belt”, and that the area, historically, gets a lot of “lake effect snow”. Well I don’t know what it all means, but it isn’t fair! I have a proposal.

I say we take a map of our area and draw a line dividing it in two. The top half of the map will be the one enjoying the “lake effect”, and the bottom half will be the one where the people see snow mainly on TV. Then we take everybody in the North, including businesses, schools, what have you, and we pack and we move. We kick the Southerners out of their snow-free homes and office buildings, and move right in. They, of course, are welcome to our part of the world.

You see, I believe in sharing and taking turns. It’s their turn now.

We could do it peacefully, or we could declare war on the lucky bastards. When I was down there this morning, the natives looked suspicious, as though they were hiding something. I say, in all likelihood, they are manufacturing weapons of mass destruction, and need to be stopped. We move ‘em up here, they’ll spend so much on winter tires and four-wheel drives, they won’t be able to afford the weapons of mass destruction anymore!

Then again, we could take it a step further, and have Ohio swap with Hawaii.

What do you think? (This is a rhetorical question, Mr. Mango)

PS. I just had to squeeze this piece of news in. Don’t know if they have it in your schools, but ours hosts a Maturity Tea every year, for fourth-grade girls and their moms. K10 surprised me yesterday with this piece of news: “Mom, you know they had period tea in our school? The girls from my class went. They didn’t wanna go, cause it’s gross, but they had to.”

Well, I would imagine it’s gross. Period tea! What will these schools come up with next?

PPS. The last part of my math camp story is coming up tomorrow. I hope all teachers that come to my place, will read that one. Some interesting stuff in there.

The Goldie has spoken at 3:59 PM

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