Monday, November 14, 2005

Been Tagged – Wise Reflections of a Sleep-Deprived Mind

Holley is challenging me to post five wise thoughts from which the world could clearly benefit (By the way Holley, where I’m from, we don’t call it “heel” of the bread. We call it “ass”. For real.)

Here’s five of mine… which, by the way, is exactly how many hours of sleep I got last night.

1. When interviewing for a job, if asked whether you like being on call, stand up, walk out, and never come back. Do not hesitate; do not ask them “Wuzzat mean, being on call?” – that’s exactly the answer they want to hear.

2. Coffee is the best drink on Earth, and definite proof that God exists.

3. Never, EVER, try to save money by switching to a cheaper dentist. You’ll end up paying double for the rework.

4. On the day when you host a party, if you get, two hours before the guests are scheduled to arrive, an uncontrollable urge to “rake the leaves in front of the house real quick” – do not give in. “Rake the leaves” and “real quick” do not belong in the same sentence.

5. If your 10yo asks your permission to go with his friend’s family to “Assterbule” for the whole weekend – let him do it. Then invite your friends, stay up till 3:30, and have the weekend of your life! Add entertainment to the party by telling your friends that your kid is in Assterbule. They’re gonna love it.

The Goldie has spoken at 10:12 AM

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