Friday, May 04, 2007

A Morning Dose Of Lighten Up

It's 7AM, and I'm driving ChinchillaBoy to school. We've spent the last few days shaking, praying, fighting off the reporters, discussing what had happened, and what could have happened. As I pull out of the driveway, the memories come back again.

"ChinchillaBoy", I say to him, "can you believe that, when I first saw the police tape around our front yard, I really thought I was in trouble for our lawn?"

All our neighbors have their lawns taken care of by professionals, but we cannot bite the bullet just yet. DIY can only take you so far; as a result, our lawn is always dandelion-infested and generally not as lush and green as everyone else's. Every year in May, in addition to Weed And Feed, the weedwhacker comes out, but it's not much help. On any other street in the area our lawn would be considered immaculate, but not on ours. I live in constant fear of being fined by the city.

"Yeah, Mom", ChinchillaBoy shoots back, "when you have dandelions on your lawn, the police puts yellow tape around your house, and the reporters come."

I reply, in my best news-reporter voice:

"We are standing in front of 123 XYZ Drive. This is the worst lawn on the entire street. Let's talk to the neighbors."

ChinchillaBoy joins in:

"I was walking my dog, and I saw this lawn, and I was like, Ohmigawd! This is awful!"

"This car," Mom the reporter continues, "belonged to a man who was driving down the street and accidentally saw the lawn. It was such a horrifying sight, the man immediately shot himself."

We are laughing so hard we can't go on anymore.

We feel better now. We needed that.

I will now return to my scheduled blogging, or lack thereof.

The Goldie has spoken at 8:01 AM


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