Can I Beat This?
You are a great brother. You're funny too. And you're smart. And you're good at sports. And you're tall. You're a very good brother. I'm very thankful to have you as a brother too. I could have had a sister, which would have been bad. I'm also thankful to have you as a brother because you help me out with stuff. You're excellent. One time, we were eating turkey during Thanksgiving, and you were a great brother! And another time, before that, on Christmas Evening, you were an even better brother! Way to go! It's excellent that you are such a great brother, and I'm so thankful to have you as a brother. Another example of when you were a fabulous brother is when, during Easter, when we were looking for eggs, you gave yours away to the homeless, who threw them at a building because they had nothing to cook them with. Then you volunteered for 96 hours straight and had to go to the hospital from exhaustion and starvation since you didn't eat or drink. You were too busy volunteering. You're so kind and smart and such a great brother.
ChinchillaBoy is asking me whether to take this letter to school. I said, "sure, teachers need a good laugh too."
I'm going to go write my own letter now. It's going to be hard to top this one, but I'll try.