Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Things That Make Me Go "Arrrrrgh"

7. Militant charities that call you at home and try to harass you into donating to them. Any caller that has ever in their life used a phrase: "Don't you have ten dollars?" - falls into this category.
6. Women that pee all over the seat in public restrooms.
5. Also in public restrooms - toilets that have a mind of their own and flush at random times, when you least expect it.
4. People who drive under the speed limit for no valid reason.
3. Also on the road - people who cut in front of me, immediately slow down, and proceed to drive at 10 miles per hour for the next five miles on a two-lane road.
2. Users that call at five PM saying that they've been having this issue since eight in the morning, and it needs to be fixed, NOW! Why did you wait nine hours to call me if you need it fixed so badly?

But nothing makes me go "arrrgh" as much as this…



Every time I've been checking my Yahoo email today, this freaky fungoid stares me in the face. It seriously interferes with the digestion of my humble office snacks. Dear Yahoo, please kill the fungus so I can sleep at night. I didn't say anything when you displayed a huge, cellulite-ridden ass next to my email, but this is too much.

And, if you don't, I will tell my neighbor where you live, and he will install a set of speakers next to your house.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Goldie has spoken at 5:49 PM


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