Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Things Our Little Doggy Taught Us

1. Before you close the door, check in case there's a dog trying to go through it. It doesn't matter that the dog wasn't in the room two seconds ago - these animals are very sneaky.

2. Same goes for the refrigerator door. Every time you open your fridge, the dog magically appears inside, pawing at products and licking whatever he can reach. Be very careful so as not to close the fridge door on the dog.

3. Chinchillas and dogs do not mix very well. Upon seeing or hearing the dog, the chinchilla will get very afraid and excited and it will bite whoever it comes across first. It will run erratically all over the house until it bumps into a random pair of feet, which it will then promptly bite. Chinchillas have very sharp teeth, and, when they bite, it hurts a lot. Wear slippers.

4. If it has been on the floor for longer than five seconds, it will be considered dog food and therefore eaten.

5. If it has been on the floor for longer than five seconds, but is inedible, it will be considered a dog toy, chewed profusely, and ripped to shreds.

6. Fuzzy slippers are not a good idea. In fact, any item of clothing or accessory that looks like a stuffed toy is not a good idea.

7. According to the dog, there are hiding places in the house that his evil owners use to hide the best treats and toys from him. These places are called garbage containers and wastepaper baskets. Get lids and keep them all closed at all times.

It is endearing to see the kids actually pick up their stuff. Just this alone was reason enough to get a dog.

Anybody interested in a pair of fuzzy slippers, almost new?

The Goldie has spoken at 9:25 AM

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