Tuesday, November 22, 2005

And We Don’t Do Black Friday, Either

I have yet another confession to make.

The Goldie family does not do large Thanksgiving celebrations. We just stay home and take it easy. Oh, most likely I will cook a nice dinner just for the four of us, but that’s it. From what I understand, this is a mortal sin. Last time I mentioned it to a girl I know, she looked at me strange and said, and I quote: “Well, given the history of this holiday, you and your family shouldn’t really be celebrating it, anyway”. I picked my jaw up from the floor, and replied, “I don’t think you guys got here on the Mayflower, either!” We both spent the rest of the evening being chewed out by our respective husbands for hurting each other’s feelings.

After this unfortunate incident, I took the time and read up on the history of Thanksgiving. My primary sources of information were the second-grade and fifth-grade school books, since they were most available to me at the time. From what I gathered, the first Thanksgiving was a friendly gathering of the Pilgrims and the Indians, where both sides ate turkey and gave thanks for still being alive after a tough year. The two sides then proceeded to beat each other to a bloody pulp, with the Pilgrim team, as the best-armed, winning and taking over.

I’ve got to say I understand Thanksgiving traditions a lot better now. For example, it explains perfectly why we are supposed to host a dinner and invite all our relatives. I mean, everybody knows that “relatives” is short for “people we have nothing in common with, but are under obligation to spend time together”. An all-out war is definitely an option with most extended families. I can also see a deep meaning in the fact that we (symbolizing the Native Americans) are inviting dozens of our relatives to come over and have dinner on our territory, whereupon the relatives (symbolizing the Pilgrims) proceed to wreak havoc in our homes.

Last year, I actually tried hosting an after-Thanksgiving party for a few of my friends. It was their turn that year to host massive Thanksgiving parties for their relatives, so I invited them to come over the next day, to unwind and share scary stories of their family get-togethers. (They were welcome to bring the leftovers, as well.) It could have been a start of a new and beautiful tradition, except it didn’t go over so well. First of all, exactly one hour before my party started, I suddenly spiked a 102 fever, having caught the flu from someone in the office. I tried to sit a good distance away from everybody, and sneezed and coughed through the dinner. Secondly, there were no leftovers. My friends’ multiple relatives had packed all leftover food and taken it home with them the previous night. We still had fun (we always do), but we won’t be repeating it this year. My plan is to buy a grilled chicken at Heinen’s tomorrow, to have it pose as a turkey; we already have some Greek pastry and some ice cream; and that will conclude our holiday dinner. K10 and I are also planning to go see the Harry Potter movie. Now that I have read the books, I will actually be able to understand what’s going on. Then, we’ll wrap the Christmas presents, watch some DVDs, and do whatever else we feel like doing at the moment.

I have told my coworkers of my plan, and they are envious. Any idea why?

In other news, I12 has disabled his Newgrounds BBS account and disconnected himself from the Internet. This is so he “has more time to write code”. This kid is my hero. If I had his willpower, I tell you, my house would be spotless, my kids well-taken care of, and I would be all fit and skinny and muscular from working out all the time. But I don’t have his willpower, so I am sitting here munching on Greek pastry and writing this post.

Have a great Thanksgiving weekend, everybody!!

The Goldie has spoken at 10:46 AM

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