Monday, October 24, 2005

Goldie Gets All Curious on You

It's a very hectic day here, so it isn't easy for me to produce a profound post. So I decided to ask you a question (yes, my dear readers, that means all five of you!)

What was the worst kids' movie that you've been dragged into seeing when your children were little?

This popped into my head last weekend, when I went to see Wallace and Gromit with K10 (good picture, by the way. Go see it.) We got there early enough to see the trailer for Chicken Little, and, oh my goodness, this stuff looks like it was produced by a permanently brain-dead person. And some poor parents will probably have to see it. Makes me want to take up a collection for the unfortunate guys.

For me, the worst movie I had to sit through with my kids was Pokemon 2000, hands-down. Hard to compete with that one. For some reason, back in 2000, both my kids really wanted to see it. I was very poorly informed about Pokemon at that time, so I couldn't even follow whatever subject line there was. Two hours of pure torture!

By the way, I've always wondered - how do the Pokemon procreate? I've never seen them, you know, doing the deed (which is a pity; that would've made the show a lot more enjoyable.) I had plenty of time to think of this, because, like I said, both kids went through a massive Pokemon phase. We watched the show, bought the beanie babies, read the books, collected the cards, you know... the works.

For K10's seventh birthday, I bought him an enormous gift set of Pokemon cards. Sure enough, there was a Charizard inside. For those of you whose kids belong to a different generation (you lucky bastards), Charizard is the highest card in Pokemon and it beats pretty much everything else, and K10 had wanted it forever.

He must have jumped three feet in the air when he saw it! I swear to you guys, he was kissing the card and petting it and going, "I will take good care of you. Yes I will, yes I will!"

A few weeks later, to everyone's amazement, K10 gave the card to his brother's friend, Tim the school bully. Apparently they'd made a deal, wherein K10 was to give Tim the card, and Tim , in return, was to stop bullying K10 on the playground. (In case you're wondering, this happened in our house, and K10 was the one who made the offer.) Let me just say that Tim's end of the deal never happened, and K10 still holds the grudge. So, Tim, if you're reading this, please give K10 his Charizard back. It is a collector's item, you know. At least, that's what K10 thinks.

So, what's your story? I'm eager to hear about all the crappy movies I've been lucky to have missed.

The Goldie has spoken at 2:25 PM

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