Mr. Big, Bearing Gifts
Where would I be without my Mr. Big stories, especially when I cannot think of anything else to post? Here’s another one.
Mr. Big wanted very much to win my friendship, and help me succeed in a foreign country. To that end, he showered me with gifts. This was the most memorable of them. I was sitting in the office one morning, when Mr. Big came in, carrying a hair scrunchie.
“Here, Goldie, this is for you.”
“Why, thank you!” I put the scrunchie on my desk.
“Aren’t you gonna wear it?”
“Maybe later. Thanks.”
“I was at a gas station today, and I thought I’d get it for you.”
“Why, that was very thoughtful.”
“Oh, that’s nothing really. See, I was standing outside pumping gas, and I saw it lying on the ground, and right away, I thought of you.”
Oh my. How could I find words to express my gratitude? Wait, I found them.
“Eeek! Blech! Gross! Why’d you do that? You don’t know who was wearing this thing! Excuse me, I’ve got to go wash my hands.”
Mr. Big stared in disbelief. He couldn’t see where he had done any wrong.
On a different occasion, someone brought chocolate chip cookies to the office. Mr. Big got all excited, because those were his best friend, Mr. Crush’s favorite. Sadly, it was late in the afternoon and Mr. Crush was already gone for the day. So Mr. Big took the biggest cookie, carried it to Mr. Crush’s office, and strategically placed it on top of Mr. Crush’s work papers.
Next morning, he couldn’t for the life of him understand why his friend was so mad.
So what about you? Did you ever get any interesting presents? Or were you maybe a giver of any? Pray tell.