Saturday, January 31, 2009

You Forgot "Hep Cat"

So, I'm getting this magazine called "Your Teen: for Parents". Not sure how it ends up in my mailbox, but since it's free, I'll take it. The last issue had this helpful article:

"Have you ever found yourself staring at your teenagers in complete wonder - hearing words come from their mouth but having no idea what they are saying? We break down the jargon to help you better understand your teenagers.

Makin' game: Flirting with a girl..."

Makin' what? I called CB over and handed him the mag.

"See this list, CB?" I said. "Can you look it over and tell me which words on this list are really teenage slang and which are not."

CB grabbed a pen and went to work.

Five minutes later, 18 words out of 20 were crossed out.

"What does crossed out mean, CB?"

"These are either old or I've never heard of them," CB told me.

Here are the only two CB approved:

apparently emos are alive and well, happily cutting themselves, so the term is still widely used.

I'd tap that
"Though usually we just say 'I'd fuck her'", my helpful kid explained.

Here are the eighteen that did not make CB's list. Being the anal mother that I am, I looked each one up on Urban Dictionary.

Makin' game
CB never heard of it. Neither did UD.

That's clutch
Again, not in UD. Supposed to mean "that's cool". NOT.

What's crackin'?
supposed to be the new "how're they hangin'?"
UD has one entry on this, but in CB's defense, it's four years old.

Mackin' on
CB has never heard of it or used it, yet it is listed in UD as "Attempt at securing further sexual relations with a female". Wow, I've been macked on so many times and didn't know it. Or mackered on. Whatever.

I'm throwin' down
"I'm having a party" is how Your Teen magazine defines it. According to UD, though, it means "The act of expelling waste similar in color and consistency to vomit, though expelled through the rectum rather than the mouth. It may be accompanied by sounds similar to those made while vomiting as well. See ass vomit." Wow, that's some party.

Looking fly/fresh
2009 teen slang? You've got to be kidding me, Will Smith!

Peace out
CB laffed at it, but look at this:
Term used to encourage military members to become conscienous objectors "peace" and get "out" of the military. Started during the Viet Nam War by "Peaceniks" and hippies. Turned into a term for saying goodbye, used primarily within ethnic groups. Has been receiving renew popularity because of the U.S.s involvement in yet another unpopular war.
Hey... sounds cool! (Fresh?)

Are you going to roll up?
No, Your Teen, this does not mean "are you going somewhere?" Look it up, sheesh. Anyhoo, if you are going to roll up, pass it around, dude.

The rest of the list is pretty much the same - tired, 90s slang:


Keep it on the down low
Hooked up
Friends with benefits
I'm down
She's a dime piece

This is all the teen slang CB and I have for you tonight. Peace out.

The Goldie has spoken at 9:38 PM

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