I have to warn you that my tastes in music are pretty liberal. I’ll try anything, unless it’s some crazy racist/hate/extremely violent lyrics. That said, I got me a mix rap/hip-hop CD. My son ChinchillaBoy has been advising me on the latest (and not-so-latest) hits.
My favorite song on my new CD? “I Like Big Butts”, by Sir Mix-A-Lot. The more I listen to it, the more I fall in love with it. Especially since my own butt cannot stop growing. What can I do, I love good food and I greatly enjoy my own cooking. Resistance is futile.
I find myself quoting it all the time. Today, I told ChinchillaBoy to shake that healthy butt. He was not amused.
It reminded me of another song I really like, “Fat-Bottomed Girls” by Queen. Back in my Slate BBS days (six years ago!! time flies), it was very popular with the forum community. Every week or so, some n00b would grace the forum with his presence (yes, his... it was always some guy), and make a long, flaming post bashing fat people. “Just stop eating already”, “You’re ugly”, that kind of stuff. And one of us would always respond by posting the entire lyrics to “Fat-Bottomed Girls”. The rest would promptly join in, make fun of the poor n00b, and humiliate him into leaving, and possibly even rethinking his views on everyone bigger than size 4.
Those were the days. We were a terrific team, and had tons of fun. Most of us went back to real life, except, of course, me (as you can see, I started a blog). A few of us still stay in touch. I was fortunate to meet one woman from my old BBS in person, and we had a great time.
Another song I loved? “We Be Burnin”. I wonder if there’s T-shirts for sale. Wouldn’t it be cool to buy one, then wear it to my son’s DARE graduation? Oh my, I’m almost forty and I still want to do things for shock value. Time to grow up.
Here are the lyrics to I Like Big Butts. Enjoy (while I am enjoying all the hits).
*talking* Oh my god Becky, look at her butt Its so big She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends Who understands those rap guys They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute I mean her butt It's just so big I can't believe it's so round It's just out there I mean, it's gross Look, she's just so black
*rap* I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up tough Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But that butt you got Make Me so horney Ooh, rump of smooth skin You say you wanna get in my benz Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy
I've seen them dancin' To hell with romancin' She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette
I'm tired of magazines Saying flat butts are the thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back
So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah) Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back
(LA face with Oakland booty)
I like'em round and big And when I'm throwin a gig I just can't help myself I'm actin like an animal Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home And UH, double up UH UH I aint talkin bout playboy Cuz silicone parts were made for toys I wannem real thick and juicy So find that juicy double Mixalot's in trouble Beggin for a piece of that bubble So I'm lookin' at rock videos Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes You can have them bimbos I'll keep my women like Flo Jo A word to the thick soul sistas I wanna get with ya I won't cus or hit ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna -- Til the break of dawn Baby Got it goin on Alot of pimps won't like this song Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it But I'd rather stay and play Cuz I'm long and I'm strong And I'm down to get the friction on
So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah) Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah) Then turn around Stick it out Even white boys got to shout Baby got back
(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Yeah baby When it comes to females Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection 36-24-36 Only if she's 5'3"
So your girlfriend throws a Honda Playin workout tapes by Fonda But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt Some brothers wanna play that hard role And tell you that the butt ain't gold So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So cosmo says you're fat Well I ain't down with that Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin And I'm thinkin bout stickin To the beanpole dames in the magazines You aint it miss thing Give me a sista I can't resist her Red beans and rice did miss her Some knucklehead tried to dis Cuz his girls were on my list He had game but he chose to hit 'em And pulled up quick to get with 'em So ladies if the butt is round And you wanna triple X throw down Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts Baby got back Baby got back Little in tha middle but she got much back x4
