Sunday, July 24, 2005

Do You Clog?

I12 has brought my attention to this post on Maddox. I highly recommend it.

Maddox presents a new and original (I guess) view of the blogging community. Go on, read it, it’s hysterical. There is even a screenshot of a typical blog.

There is also a dictionary. Here are a few good examples.

Blogging: If minds had anuses, blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump.

Blogged: What you call a trivial or largely inconsequential topic once bloggers have processed through every tired detail. For more on this, look into: every minor news story.

Blogosphere: The "blogosphere" is the new buzz word that has replaced "information super highway." It's what idiots like to call a collection of "blogs," otherwise known as a tragedy.

Blogroll: A long list of links that nobody will ever click on. Bloggers not only link to their friends and fellow bloggers, but their eventual goal is to link to every linkable document on the Internet. Most "blog rolls" are so full of links that it can bring even the mightiest of search engines to a crawl as they sort through all the frivolous bullshit bloggers link to.

Thankfully, since most blogs are shallow in content, it won't take you long to load, and in turn, to close the browser quickly if you're duped into clicking one of these links. If you shut down quickly enough, you may be able to avoid downloading the mandatory 2 gigs of political banners on every blogger's website.

And in conclusion:

In observation of all these shitty phrases and acronyms, I've decided to coin another phrase that can be used for "blog" called: comment-log or CLOG for short. What users do is labor over documenting their inconsequential lives, trivializing man's greatest invention, the microprocessor, until the Internet is so CLOGGED that commerce comes to a screeching halt. Anyone contributing to the congestion would be known as a CLOGGER. I hate blogs.

I really liked this post. A lot of it is true. Although I find it ironical that Maddox has put it on his own b… oh, nevermind. I still love the guy.

I think I’m gonna go add him to my blogroll now. Enjoy your Sunday, all.

The Goldie has spoken at 1:35 PM

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