Thursday, July 21, 2005

Nocturnal Teen

I was late for work today, because I overslept. And I overslept because I couldn’t get any sleep at night.

Was it users calling from work? No. It was worse.

My 12yo came out of his lair for food twice last night – at 1:30 and at 5:00. Both times, he turned on every light he could get his hands on, banged the fridge doors, and all around made more noise than a herd of woolly mammoths (if the woolly mammoths would still be alive, that is).

Needless to say, each time he did it, he woke me up, and I had to drag my sleepy butt into the kitchen and tell him to cease and desist.

I have to get up at 6AM, 6:30 tops. Instead, I woke up at 6:50. I went to I12’s room and found him asleep on the floor.

The room, by the way, looks like Dennis and Emily had wild hurricane sex in it. Somehow, I12 has decided it would be a good idea to build something out of empty soda cans. As a result, there are cut-up soda cans and masking tape covering every surface in the room.

We don’t buy soda and generally don’t allow it in our house. However, I12 has his own money and plenty of time. Every two or three days, he walks to a nearby Walmart and buys himself a 12-pack. Like a good mother, I greet him at the door, leave him two or three cans, and hide the rest.

Once, I failed to do it. He drank the whole thing and was up all night.

Then again, I hid the darn pop yesterday and I12 was up all night anyway. Maybe it’s just the way teens operate while on summer break.

K9, on the other hand, is on a normal human schedule, since he goes to a summer camp. He has been meeting new kids at camp, and bringing them home.

The kids and their parents firmly believe that K9 is an only child. When I tell them that there is, in fact, another kid in the house, they nod and smile, but it doesn’t look like they really believe me.

I12 is five foot ten and still going through a growth spurt. Therefore, he eats a lot.

I spend most of my free time either grocery shopping for I12 or cooking for him. Even Mr. Goldie has joined in and cooked this. I12 went through an eight-liter pot in three days, and is asking for more.

Yesterday, I12 discovered the wonder of the modern American cuisine that is Ramen noodles. I bought a 24-pack at Costco a while ago, but they were causing me to gain weight, so I had to stop eating them. I12 went through five cups yesterday. At least, somebody’s going to finish that thing off.

Ironically, the kid weighs 125 pounds. How can you eat everything that moves and still weigh that little? I used to be like that when I was a teen. That, too, shall pass.

I feel like I’m sharing the house with an alien from outer space.

Is it normal?

The Goldie has spoken at 12:14 PM

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