Monday, September 22, 2008

Silly Season Rant

"Twelve to one.

For every twelve voters who you talk to at their doors, one voter goes and votes who would not otherwise have voted. If you're asking: "how can I be most effective in helping my candidate win the election?" then an organizer's answer is going to be: knock on doors.


So if you go out one four-hour walk shift every weekend between now and the election, you've generated -- on average -- six extra votes from people who would not otherwise have voted for your candidate.

Does it sound paltry? Does it sound difficult? It's what campaigns do. In the aggregate, all that effort is transformative. It is what wins -- or fails to win elections. "

Are you fucking serious?

First of all, the obvious. Suppose you are at home on a nice Sunday morning, sleeping in, sipping coffee, sitting on the can with a morning paper, or getting kinky with your spouse (last one happened to me and Mr. Goldie in 2004. But I digress.)

Your doorbell rings.

It rings again. And again.

Your dog is jumping at the door, barking on top of his lungs. Your preschoolers are hollering "Mom, Dad! Somebody's at the door! Mom?!"

You don't have a choice. You hastily pull up your underwear, forgo wiping your ass, and run downstairs. Or you hastily interrupt your lovemaking, throw on a robe, and run downstairs.

On your doorstep is a random stranger. He's come to tell you who to vote for.

Will he convince you?

The second issue I have with this door-to-door strategy is more serious. You see, I tend to assume the best of people until proven otherwise. With an adult, for instance, I automatically assume that he or she have done their homework; that, whomever they decided to vote for, they must have their reasons.

Yes, it's true that in reality, many people tend to vote with their rear end. But let's at least give them the benefit of the doubt.

The article I've quoted here seems to assume that your average McCain supporter is a confused, misguided individual. That the only reason he wants to vote for McCain in the first place is because an Obama volunteer has not yet turned up at his doorstep and showed him the true way.

Tell me how that is different from a Jehovah witness going door to door with a stack of Bibles.

Tell me how many people have been converted into Jehovah witnesses because someone came to their door when they were having dinner and explained it all to them. I'm guessing the answer will be below zero. Then why is it suddenly one out of twelve in this article?

I probably speak for most of us when I say, show me some respect. Don't patronize me. To quote Michael Corleone, do not insult my intelligence. It pisses me off.

And stay away from my door, all of you. If my dog won't bite you, I will.

The Goldie has spoken at 5:01 PM

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