1. Take a day off: check.
2. Make sure K9 is wearing his Family Guy T-shirt, because today is the only day he can get away with it: check.
3. Drop the kids off at school: check.
4. Pack K9’s swimming trunks, flip-flops and mesh tee: check.
5. Give presents to teachers: check.
6. Take box of candy to school office: check.
7. Come to K9’s school for the annual walk and picnic: check.
8. Do the walk: check.
9. During the walk, run through three sprinklers before realizing I’m still holding one remaining present in my hands: check.
10. Give wet present to K9’s gifted coordinator, apologize profusely: check.
11. Realize that I cannot get picnic lunch, because K9’s school forgot to mail me the lunch ticket. Decide that food is overrated and a drink of water will do: check.
12. Fire truck shows up to hose down the kids: check.
13. Spend twenty minutes trying to convince K9 to go get hosed: check.
14. Give up on K9 and decide to go stand under the hose myself instead: check.
15. Give purse and watch to K9 to hold for me while I’m being hosed down: check.
16. Spend an hour looking for K9 who walked off with my purse and watch: check.
17. Tell K9 we are leaving early to go get I12: check.
18. Spend another hour trying to get K9 out the door while he’s starting conversations with each and every third-grade girl that passes by: check.
19. Lure K9 into going over to meet his fourth-grade teacher by telling him she’s very good-looking: check.
20. Arrive at I12’s school fifteen minutes late for the awards ceremony: check.
21. Sit through the two-hour awards ceremony feeling like an idiot while every single kid but I12 is receiving awards: check.
22. Pass out remaining teacher presents: check.
23. Go to video game store because it is an old family tradition to buy each kid a video game on the last day of school: check.
24. Stand in front of the store in amazement wondering when and why it went out of business: check.
25. Allow K9 to go visit his friend later in the evening: check.
26. Cancel the visit because, when the friend called, K9 raced to the phone at light speed, tripped, and hit his toe so badly he cannot walk anymore: check.
27. Put ice on K9’s foot: check.
28. Promise to give laptop to K9 as soon as I’m done checking my email: check.
29. Five minutes later, realize that K9 has fallen asleep and doesn’t need the laptop: check.
30. Use the opportunity to write this post: check.