Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Career Choices

The small kids’ career choices always crack me up. Everyone wants to do something heroic. How come no kids want to be accountants or business analysts? Hey, I’ve never even met a kid that wanted to be a Wall Street broker, and that stuff pays.

I don’t even remember what I wanted to be. Not a programmer, that’s for sure. I think I wanted to be a vet, then a space explorer, then a journalist… then reality set in. It hasn’t set in for my kids yet.

The first thing I12 wanted to be was an inventor. I think he was five or six then. Then, sometime down the road, he decided that he wanted to own his software company. This still stands, at least as of last fall. I went to his school for the open house, and there they had all kids’ compositions on the subject of “My Dream”. 6-grade kids wrote about wanting to be doctors, musicians, pro sports players, business owners, and so on. Here is what my son wrote.

My Dream

My dream is to be a CEO of a computer game company. My company will be divided into 3 parts: Operating Systems Development, Computer Game Development, and Miscellaneous positions. These others will be divided into: Lawyers, Online Development/Advertising, and Planning. I’ll keep 40% of my profit and the rest will go to my company. OS Development will receive 20%, Computer Game Development will receive 60%, and the others will receive 20% of the company’s money. Lawyers will receive 40%, Online Development 40%, and Planning will receive 20% of the 20% of the company’s money.
My company will make a lot of money and have several towers across the country and have a lot of money.

Interested? If you want to apply, leave me a comment and I’ll put a word in for you.

On to K9. K9 is more of your regular kid. When he was in daycare, he decided he wanted to be a policeman, and stayed that way until a year or two ago. Everybody thought it was so cute, because I was the only one who knew the reason why K9 wanted to be in law enforcement – “so I can carry a gun and shoot people”.

After he stopped wanting to be a policeman, he decided to become a stand-up comedian. His plan was to be one of those ethnic comedians. You know the ones I’m talking about, forever ripping on their families’ foreign ways. I’ll give it to those guys, they are funny. For a year or so, K9 walked around the house practicing.

“So, I grew up in this Russian family. Man, they’re weird! You should see my Mom…”

Et cetera, et cetera.

Then last fall, a friend introduced K9 to rap, hip-hop and R&B. K9 got very excited, and decided to become a rapper. He wrote a few songs. One was about being a pimp. Sometimes his friend comes over, and they rap together. It is pretty cool. There are three of them in class that want to be a rap band.

I tried to discourage K9 from using swear words or rapping about things like organized crime, but, on the whole, I was pretty supportive, so I was surprised when, one day, K9 told me, “Mom, I’m going to run away from home.”

“Why what’d I do?!”

No, that’s what I thought. What I said out loud was, “And what, may I ask, do you not like in this house, young man, that you want to run away?”

“No, Mom, you don’t understand. We’re all running away. All three of us.

“We’re going to run away from home, then we’re going to go to Detroit, then once we get there, we’re going to go to Shady Studios, and get ourselves a record deal. Do you think it’s a good plan?”

Um. Wow. You know how hard it was for me not to laugh?

Somehow I was able to talk K9 out of this plan, and I assume the parents of the other two boys did the same, so there is no trip to Detroit in their nearest future.

So, if all goes well, my sons will be a CEO and a rapper, and I will be set for life. Somehow, I doubt that it will happen this way. But let me tell you this. No matter what these kids end up doing in life, they will always be celebrities to me!

The Goldie has spoken at 9:35 AM

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