Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I Love Long Weekends… And Cube Farms

The school was out yesterday, so I took a day off. It was beautiful. We all got so much done. Of course, the downside of a long weekend is that, when it’s over, you have to come back to work, and, after a long weekend, the office pisses you off infinitely more than after a normal, two-day one.

Like, right now, the guy in the cube next to mine is talking non-stop, in this incredibly sexy, I’m-God’s-gift-to-women kind of voice…. he doesn’t stop for a minute. The man is clearly admiring the sound of his own voice. Unfortunately, I’m not. I am aggravated enough to be in the office in the first place, without having to listen in to my coworkers’ endless conversations. Plus, I didn’t get enough sleep last night. First, LilProgrammer decided to have a loud conversation with himself at midnight. Then, ChinchillaBoy had nightmares at two, three, and four in the morning. Of course, he had to wake me up every single time. What I’m saying here is that, right now, I would really appreciate the sound of silence. For the love of all that is good, man, just… shut… up. I beg of you.

Wait a minute, he stopped. It worked.

Oh crap, no he didn’t. He just had a five-minute break and now he’s at it again.

Now go ahead and dooce my ass. My head hurts, my eyes feel like they are full of sand, and I pretty much don’t care at the moment.

***** ***** *****

LilProgrammer somehow managed to get an award in school last week. It’s called an AVIS award, which stands for, “Attitude Visible In School”. This came as a surprise for me. I mean, I’ve known for a long time that LilProgrammer has an attitude, and I figured that, sooner or later, it would become visible in school. But getting an award for that? What is this world coming to. Naturally, I put the award up on the fridge, the proud mother that I am.

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My same son, LilProgrammer, took a really long Language Arts test in school. The last question says, and I am not making this up:

“It seems like I ran out of questions to ask. How does it make you feel? Please explain in detail.”

This seemed to be a very tricky question for an Aspie. LilProgrammer wrote:

“It makes me not trust you because you just asked me a question.”

He didn’t get any credit for his answer. Gee, I wonder why.

***** ***** *****

ChinchillaBoy had a very eventful weekend. His best friend came over Sunday night. I got pizza for everybody, they went outside and shot hoops for a while, and then ChinchillaBoy went over to the friend’s house to sleep over. We’ll have to work extra hard to hide all this from my parents, who watch ChinchillaBoy after school on weekdays. You see, the thing is, ChinchillaBoy’s fragile health is very high on my parents’ list of priorities. Heaven forbid he does something that may make him catch a cold. They call me several times a day to check if ChinchillaBoy is wearing his sweater and fur-lined slippers. I hid the pizza boxes in my car trunk and otherwise destroyed the evidence of ChinchillaBoy having had fun during the weekend. I thought I had done a good job and my parents wouldn’t suspect a thing. Then I saw this:

See the tracks all over our backyard? There will be a lot of questions for me to answer tonight, unless this snow melts before 3 PM.

I will keep you posted.

The Goldie has spoken at 9:53 AM

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